Loneliness, vulnerability, and purpose.

Nine months is a long time. The honeymoon phase has worn, and I’m often left thinking about how much time I have left here: if I will spend it meaningfully, if my relationships will be profound, and if I will leave any legacy. It’s daunting at times- wrapping my head around something so unquantifiable. It hits me the hardest when I’m not at the school, when I stop moving (which isn’t very often). I’ve come to embrace this sense of loneliness and vulnerability, it’s refreshing really.

But even in those moments that knock the wind out of me, I force myself to take a step back as to not feel overwhelmed by all of this, and I find comfort in knowing I have a purpose.

I may not know what that purpose is yet. Hell, I may never know, but that’s the beauty in all of this, I guess.

I’ll get up every morning and I’ll go to work. And I’ll try to find somewhere that I fit into this beautiful little puzzle. And just maybe we’ll all make a difference together.

For now, I have a clear job description in the Minerva Fellows Mantra, and I’m trying my hardest to live it everyday:

“Go to the people

Live with them

Learn from them

Love them.

Start with what they know

Build with what they have,

But with the best leaders

When the work is done,

The task accomplished,

The people will say

We have done this ourselves.”

-Lao Tzu

Cheers for now, xoxo!!!!!




6 thoughts on “Loneliness, vulnerability, and purpose.

  1. Sydney, you may not understand the purplose of your endeavors, you may not see it now. But I , for one, see it clearly. You are leading by example, you are proving the power of one, you are inspiring all who are following , and you are touching lives in so many ways. There is a saying” to save one life is to save the world.” Each of the children who you touch , your kindness, ability to accept and love, are being given a gift, and returning one to you and the world. The gift of humanity, trust, faith that their lot in life is worthy. One may never see the direct correlation between you, these children, and the future, but it is there. If in no other ways, and I am sure there will be many, you are inspiring all of us following your journey. Love you, Grandma


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